(From a shamelessly opinionated traveller)
Business travel. That grand illusion of one’s self-importance when we don our professional attire, pack a laptop and strut through airport terminals like a multinational mogul.
It should be easy, right?
Board a plane, say something hugely insightful in a meeting and bill it all to the company. Yet, time and time again, we mess it up in the most spectacular and, let’s face it, daft ways.
But you’re in luck. We’re here to share the top five mistakes people make when travelling for business – so you can avoid these silly setbacks in the future.
1. The wannabe packing pro
First off, there’s the suitcase drama before you’ve even left your house.
Not sure what to wear? That’s OK; you can just take a couple of options, right?
Wrong. You might think you’ve got the skills and style of James Bond, trying to neatly fold five suits, a laptop and everything you need into a carry-on. But you’ll quickly realise you’re mistaken.
You’ll inevitably pack everything except the one thing you need. The suit jacket? Hanging on the back of a chair at home. Worse still, underwear (a classic of mine I have to confess). All a distant memory.
The last thing you want is to find yourself explaining to your client why you’re wearing trainers with your suit because your finest Crockett & Jones shoes are sitting on your bed 5,000 miles away. Nothing screams “trust me with your million-pound contract”, like a pair of Veja’s – as eco-friendly as they may be.
So make sure you plan your outfits strategically ahead of time and always write a checklist so you don’t forget the essentials!
2. Techno-tantrums at security
Next, you’re up against airport security, that gladiatorial arena where we all suddenly lose 50 IQ points. Despite 20 years of following these rules about liquids, someone always forgets and tries to smuggle a 5 Litres of shampoo past the scanners.
Worse still, you’ve got to complete the technology jigsaw. Taking the laptop out your bag, then out of it’s own case and putting it in the tray. Then your work mobile. Oh, wait, your tablet is still in there – and what about your noise-cancelling Sonos headphones, do they even count?
Before you know it, the security line looks like the tills at Curry’s, and you stand there trying to remember just how many devices you’ve bought with you.
Instead, make sure to only carry the essentials, and make sure these are all easily accessible and removable when going through security. This will make checking in much easier.
3. Jet lag blues
Ah, jet lag, the silent killer of dignity. You told yourself you would ‘power through’, get some work done on the plan and avoid napping when you reached the hotel. How productive of you. Except now it’s 2 pm, and you’re face-down in a coffee shop, drooling on your laptop.
Adjusting to the time difference is not an easy task, so do all you can to grab those important moments of shut-eye when the opportunity presents itself, like on the plane, even if it’s only for 15 minutes.
And ask your boss kindly not to schedule any meetings at insane hours without giving you some time to at least shower, grab a coffee and freshen up.
4. The language barrier
Let’s talk about languages, or rather, your complete inability to learn them. Far too many professionals will show up in their bespoke Savile Row suits without bothering to look up even the basics like “hello” or “thank you”.
Let’s face it, they’ll just shout in English, assuming that volume equals understanding.
So before you attempt to remember your GCSE Spanish, only to butcher it so badly that locals wonder if you’re ordering lunch or starting a fight, consider planning ahead. A plethora of apps can help you get to grips with the basics. And never underestimate how much you can achieve by pointing and other gestures.
5. Expense account mayhem
Finally, the pièce de résistance: the expenses report. Sure, you’ll start with the best intentions. You’ll upload every receipt and carefully log every latte as you go.
But by day three, it’s chaos.
That dinner receipt? Gone. The cab ride? Paid in cash with no proof. And why on earth is there a charge for Lucky Voice karaoke at 1 am?
Your boss might not question a few beers, but a £200 bill labelled miscellaneous entertainment raises eyebrows faster than you can say “did I really attempt You’ve Lost that Loving Feeling last night?”.
Thanks to technology, there are loads of great ways you can track your expenses and make sure you’re logging these correctly. And hey, a good old-fashioned wallet is always the best place to keep your receipts – just make sure you remember to ask for one if you’re paying in cash.
Don’t be that guy
So there you have it: the five ways business travellers manage to turn a professional trip into a personal circus.
You’ve probably been guilty of one – or all – of these blunders at some point in your career.
But remember, you’re not the only one. However, this time, you can be the only one who has a seamless business trip and doesn’t embarrass themselves with some hilarious faux pas. Just take note of our tips above.
